Yesterday, Donald Miller was on campus speaking at chapel. I was a bit loathe to go, having heard him here a few years ago when I was a student. I imagined the inevitable change from self-conscious vulnerability to the polished smooth speaking that only wealth and fame bring.
He was definitely more polished, but I was surprised to find his simple talk very helpful. He managed within 20 minutes’ time to successfully bend my idea of what comprises “a meaningful life” to a manner of thinking I imagine I’ll hold in the back of my mind and heart for some time.
His basic premise was this: He had taken some storytelling classes and decided that the basic elements required to live a meaningful life are the same as those that are required to create a really great story.
And those are: 1) The protagonist must want something and 2) He or she must experience conflict and suffering to get that thing. A good story does not happen easily when viewers are unsure of what the protagonist wants. Similarly, the story isn’t engaging if the protagonist does not have to undergo suffering or trail to obtain it.
I thought for awhile on this and realized the truth of it. And thought of my own life. I went home and listed out the things that I want and felt encouraged that I don’t have them yet – the hell I’ll have to go through to get them means that my life will be interesting, a good story.
I’ve always thought I wanted too much, but I think I want too little. It takes courage to commit to wanting something for oneself, and I haven’t felt this courage very often. I’m too often content to take whatever comes, for fear that I’ll fail in both the wanting and the getting.
Donald Miller’s talk also led to another important self-realization. I didn’t major in English because I am interested in the processes of creating/analyzing literature – I majored in English because I am interested in learning how to live and thought that by immersing myself in the stories and experiences of others, I would find meaning.
This helps, somehow, and explains why the thought of being an academic (despite its glamour and its challenge) was never completely appealing. I can find meaning doing a multitude of things, wanting a multitude of things. The poetry will be my story. I want to write it well.
I’ve always thought I wanted too much, but I think I want too little. It takes courage to commit to wanting something for oneself, and I haven’t felt this courage very often. I’m too often content to take whatever comes, for fear that I’ll fail in both the wanting and the getting.
Yes, yes, yes. We’ll never get more until we dare to demand it and believe ourselves worthy of it. We also have to get over our pride and stop doing only the few things that we’re already good at. We are responsible for making our lives interesting stories! And we are capable of it, too.
Yes, on wanting too little: I have found even that the so-called ‘cherish the moment’ and be mindful and accept all that comes sort of attitude, although absolutely necessary to cultivate, can also become a way to mask your indecision and fear of wanting.
Maybe another useful skill is to want enthusiastically and passionately, and whole-heartedly, but know that you are more than the wanting. Stay transcendent(al)!